DO YOU FEEL BEAUTIFUL? 7 DAILY PRACTICES FOR DEFINING AND EMBODYING TRUE BEAUTY

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Originally Written for Pathways Publication Winter 2018

Do you feel beautiful?

Some of us see this question and hear with certainty in our heads a firm “yes!”. Some of us pause with light hesitancy in allowing ourselves to feel the truth in our own beauty. No matter where your certainty or hesitancy lies with knowing and feeling your own beauty, you at times may find yourself feeling some resistance and/or limitation. 

That resistance can run deep into family, community and ancestral conditioning around ideas of beauty. Some of us were raised by mothers who told us again and again how beautiful we were and others were raised that we should not take pride in appearances. Shamanic ‘medicine’ and practice can be extremely powerful in helping us to uncover the beauty within our Selves. There are powerful tools and practices for healing the wounds of our past, the mis-conceptions of our ancestors and the negative emotional weight we carry like shame, guilt, fear. Here when we discuss beauty, we don’t merely mean appearances. Beauty is defined as a combination of qualities that pleases the senses. Many of us are limited from seeing the beauty in ourselves because we haven't yet defined for our unique and individual Selves what beauty is. We have spent our lives learning others’ definitions of beauty and using their definitions as the gauge to which we measure our own beauty. 

I recently watched a YouTube video in which a well renowned dating coach shares with women the top 5 things that men find attractive. I had just made the decision to chop my hair off, and here in this video this man was telling tens of thousands of women around the world that men find long hair more attractive. My first instinct was to question my own beauty .. would I be seen as less beautiful with less hair? 

I shared my findings in this video with a male friend and he validated that he indeed preferred women with long hair and upon further investigation Psychology Today posted an article raising this same question. There is common belief in our society (and many others) that long hair symbolizes femininity, and within this Psy Today article the writer shared research supporting the majority in believing that longer hair is more attractive but also shared in opposition that her boyfriend believed that he was attracted to women with short hair because they seemed ‘more determined’. And here I was again, seeking validation of my own beauty based on the beliefs of others’. Taking a bit of my own shamanic ‘medicine’ I sat and meditated to find my own source and definition of beauty. Looking down at the Hathor (goddess of love and beauty) tattoo on my arm I posed the question: If there were a short haired goddess… What would she look like? What would she be like? 

I stood up after posing this question and looked at myself in the mirror. If there were a short haired goddess… I decided… “She would look like you!”. I proclaimed to the woman in the mirror. She would stand tall, she’d shine, she’d spread love. She would be beautiful. 

In my shamanic work I work with hundreds of women who are working to release themselves from shame, to lose weight, to improve and attract in new relationships, to free themselves from anxiety and depression, and learning to love themselves again. Along the journey to Self-love comes the task of seeing the Beauty in oneself. Through shamanic journey, crystal work, journaling prompts, affirmation and more we are able to sow the seeds of Self-love and watch it grow as we practice. 

Here lies my invitation for you to reset your definitions of beauty and step further into the embodiment of your own definition of Beauty. Here are some daily practices for how we can all do so: 

1. Get Outside

In nature we find symmetry, we find multitudes of diversity in texture, color, shape, size. We see countless breeds of plants and wildlife. And we marvel at their beauty. How can it be that in our culture ideas of beauty can be summed down to a few simple traits? Get out in nature to allow this beautiful universe to remind you that there is beauty in ALL. Sit, breathe, smell. Allow yourself to become yet another source of beauty amongst ALL and feel into your own unique beauty. You are a truly remarkable work of art. 

2. Find Your Muse

I’m not talking Kim Kardashian… although she may be beautiful. As a shaman, I look to the Spirit realms for Divine inspiration and support. When I’m seeking to embody beauty I summon the vibrations of the goddesses or other divine feminine figures like Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene, Kwan Yin, Hathor. Imagine that you could summon a divine feminine figure of your own choosing. Look to her as your muse for how to move, how to serve, how to love. These divine feminines are recognized for their extraordinarily giving natures, their compassion, their marks in society, their service, their grace. These can be your marks of true beauty. Wear a charm or amulet with your muse, print a photo or find a portrait and place it somewhere sacred where you’ll see it daily, or do like I did and get a tattoo of her!

3. Drink Lots of Water

Water truly is a vital source for all life, and there is beauty in that which is alive. Filling your body with water allows this vital life force to radiate from within and create a glowing aura. Your skin glows more clearly and vibrantly, your eyes shine, your skin and hair softens, you are energized and you embody the natural beauty of ‘alive-ness’. 

4. Practice Smiling

Each time you catch a glimpse of your own reflection… smile! Whether it be the car window, the mirror, a door or a puddle… smile. Cultivate that twinkle in your eye. Play with various smiles: the seductive smile, the playful smile, the soft welcoming smile. Build a ‘make-up bag’ of smiles. No amount of makeup can supplant a beautiful smile. 

5. Wear Crystals

When we need a bit of support in our emotional and spiritual endeavors , the crystals are always on standby waiting to assist. Seeing the beauty in our Selves is a critical step in our path to Self-Love and to loving others unconditionally, and the Spirit world encourages us to lean into it for whatever assistance we need to get there. The crystals are one of my favorite helpers to work with. Because our limitations to seeing and appreciating our own beauty can be so complex, I encourage everyone to approach the crystals by way of your own intuition. However because I’ve mentioned a few common blocks, I will suggest some of my favorites for working through these specifically. 

Amethyst - A pure stone of self-love and protection. For the soul who has been pouring love out endlessly and is in deep need of channeling some of that back in to the self. For low self-confidence. For surrounding oneself with supportive angelic helpers to help you to see the beauty in your self… use Amethyst. 

Larimar - Whenever I need to channel the Divine feminine aspect of myself, I wear my larimar. It carries a soft and delicate energy that pulls out the same within me. Larimar is recognized as being helpful in releasing emotional bonds, patterns and principles that no longer serve our highest good. If there has been damage to the ego or self-confidence, Larimar can assist with the facilitation of the healing of unresolved issues or fears, trauma to the heart. It can help women to call upon the goddess within to fully manifest their highest purpose in life.

Rose Quartz - A stone of pure love, rose quartz attracts love in all facets to the wearer as well as opens the heart to receive love and appreciate the beauty of the beholder. If I were to recommend one stone that could raise the vibration of the planet to a state of pure love… this would be it!

6. Affirm & Express Your Appreciation for Beauty

Affirm beauty to your Self. Affirm beauty to others. Affirm beauty to your surroundings. With spoken and written word, begin to marvel at the beauty all around you. Compliment the beautiful stranger in the market. Look in the mirror and whisper to that beautiful reflection smiling back “You are beautiful.” Affirmation is a powerful tool for programming and reprogramming the mind, and for manifesting into existence that which we desire. If you find yourself particularly resistant to acknowledging your own beauty, you may find affirmation to be especially helpful. Words carry deep vibratory power and the word beauty evokes the energy of love. That compliment to the stranger in the market is the sharing of love energy.  Feel into the word and its resonance. When you think of a beautiful song or a beautiful flower notice how it feels within your heart space and connect in with that sensation. Feel into the concept of beauty as a vibration. Once you are feeling it, you are sharing it.  

7. Go With the Flow 

There is nothing more beautiful and awe inspiring than a naturally adaptive specimen. How well do you go with the flow? When curve balls are thrown your way, stressful events pop up in your day… How do you cope? How well do you adapt? Practice finding your breath and being adaptable in the most trying of times. Not only will you feel like a goddess, but you will be perceived as one. 

There's perception of beauty.  And there's reflection of beauty. That which is perceived can be an illusion, but the mirror never lies. If we can define for our Selves what beauty is, than we can embody and reflect that out with confidence. Our work in We can pioneer new definitions for generations to come. We can heal the unhealthy conditioning and release the limiting beliefs that have kept us from seeing and fully embodying the beauty within ourselves. We can rise up and create an even more beautiful world.