A SHAMANS GUIDE TO SELF LOVE

Love this post? Pin this graphic!

Originally posted September 25th, 2017

This term ‘Self Love’ has become a big buzz phrase these past couple years. For Good reason. I like to say to my artsy indie loving friends that pop stars become pop stars for good reason. Sometimes they really do have talent! Sometimes they share messages that are healing to the larger collective. And buzz phrases become buzz phrases for good reason. Sometimes they carry super high vibrations that are healing to the larger collective. Think about how good you feel when you say “Sorry not sorry!”. I love that one! When we say that we are unapologetically giving our Selves permission. Anyway, Lately I’ve been receiving messages from Spirit that many women (and some men too) are not loving themselves enough. And then Spirit started telling me that I wasn’t loving my Self enough… And I thought ‘oh boy. I guess I’d better dive deeper into this Self-Love buzz!’. And so here we are. Here’s what I’ll call my Shaman’s guide to self love. There are some practices here that are probably no-brainers, and there are some that go a little deeper, a little broader, and a little more esoteric. Hopefully you will be open and find the latter to be particularly helpful. 

#1 - Realize How Loveable You ARE! Open Yourself Up To Receiving Love

Think of all of the people you love and all of the people who’ve ever loved you. What made you feel especially loved? Write down their names one by one… Mommy, pop-pop, auntie, your baby girl, your teenage son, your first love. Allow for images to fall into your mind, memories to play out like movies, feelings and smells to fall into your awareness; Allow for yourself to fully be present with each of them for a moment in Spirit. Visualize yourself laughing with whomever, hugging, squeezing, hand holding, eye-gazing, dancing… whatever it was. Write a list of what gift it was that each of these individuals shared to inhabit their own special places in your heart. Than ask yourself… “What gift did I share with them?” “Why did/do they love me so much?”

It may seem counterintuitive to begin this list with an exercise diving deep into the love we’ve shared with others… but we are so often are more apt to give our love, than to allow ourselves to receive love. We forget how loveable we truly are. I’m here today to tell you that YOU are one loveable ball of light! 

Yes… smile. 

My first step in guiding you further into self-love is to help you realize just how loveable you are.

#2 - Self Care … But Self Care Is NOT the Same As Self Love

This is a confusing dichotomy of buzz words. Self-care is also a big buzz word, especially for busy hardworking millenials (and mamas!). Yes please make sure to take your time for yoga or manicure, massage, exercise and hobbies, as these are important and should become a part of your self care routines… however they are not to be confused with self-love. Self-care paves the way for self-love. It’s much easier to look into the mirror and smile and feel love, when the person in front of you is healthy and glowing, with a fresh haircut or nice new shirt that makes her/him look and feel amazing. It’s incredibly easy to love someone who is confident and well cared for. And that someone is YOU. on both ends! It’s important to take care of your Self so that you can easily love your Self. But to love yourself is not a physical practice. To love yourself is an emotional, energetic and spiritual practice. To love your Self, is to wrap her (or him) in a beautiful glowing blanket of light and then to simultaneously feel that light wrapped around your Self. 

#3 - Natures Helpers in Our Self-Love Journey

There are some earthly helpers that can assist us in loving ourselves. Here are my go-tos: 

Crystals - Rose quartz. I write about Rose Quartz often. It really is a stone that makes me feel very connected to love. All forms of love. Also, Malachite is an incredible helper in self-love. It’s beautiful green radiates out heart chakra opening and activating and pulls all of that light back in toward the Self. This one has a very grounding energy as well, which helps to keep you grounded into your own body, loving yourself just as you are. And another that is begging to be shared, is Lapis Lazuli. Lapis Lazuli often comes in with women in particular, who need a little extra self-love and feminine awakening. With women on their healing journeys, the awakening of the divine feminine opens ‘her’ up to greater self-love. 

Flowers & Herbs - These helpers will work for you in their various forms. Whether it be a floral arrangement, flower essence, body fragrance, essential oil, herbal tea… Chamomile and Lavender and Lilies are hardworking at that simultaneous act of giving and receiving love. These beauties will quiet and soften your heart and create a safe space for the heart to open up and receive love. And that love being received is none other than the greatest love of all… the love of Self. Please give this one a try. 

Edibles - Chocolate and Coffee! Cliche for a reason. Many of you are fully aware that coffee does more than just ‘wake you up’. It really wakes you up… wink wink. When a shaman speaks of waking up, she/he is speaking of more than just opening the physical eyes. Coffee wakes up your soul. When you wake up and sip that first hot cup of coffee (or tea), you are whispering to your Self… “Good morning, I love YOU.” And in the evening, when you sit down with that piece of dark chocolate, you are whispering to your Self “Good evening, I love YOU.” And your Self is responding… saying “Why Thank YOU… I love you too!” 

Studies by the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry and various others have shown that there are countless physical benefits to consuming coffee and chocolate.

Notice how your body and soul respond to that next coffee or chocolate. 

#4 - Call In Some Extra Help

There is so much Spirit help available all around us. You have a team of spirit guides, angels, loved ones, animal guides, and of course the big One… God, Source, Universal Life Force… whatever you choose to call it. When you’re finding it difficult to get back into that space of loving yourself, stop for a moment and speak out to invisible ones. Whether you see them or not, if you speak out, they are there in a heartbeat. This team will help you remember who you truly are and why you are so fabulous… They will fill you up with love when you are having difficulty filling yourself up. Find a time when you’re alone, and just start speaking out loud. Don’t worry about looking crazy… no one that would judge you is there! Get ready for some awesome signs and magical sensations to run through your heart and soul. 

#5 - Be your own best lover

We come here in each life to learn and experience love in all forms and it’s completely natural for you to desire romantic love. Whether you’re single or if you’re in a committed relationship, I encourage you to become your own best lover. What would you like for your lover to do for you? Take you to a new restaurant? Watch a comedy movie with you? Buy you flowers? Concert tickets? Chocolate? Sexy undies? Jewelry? Start doing these things for your Self… You deserve it! 

If you’re single, you may find that strengthening this flame, helps another bright strong flame to find it’s way to you. 

If you’re committed, you may find that strengthening your own flame pulls your mates flame in even closer to your own. You may find that it strengthens your relationship and ignites something new and more passionate. 

Are you having specific struggles with overcoming the obstacles blocking you from loving yourself? Unworthiness, self-loathing, self-doubt, fear all have spiritual and energetic roots that can be pulled and cleared. Message me to book yourself an in-person (if you’re in Delaware beach area) or phone session for Shamanic Spirit Therapy.

Namaste on your journey in loving YOU.